Been sick all night long. Did not sleep at all. Did I need this before I take the CAPES again? Considering that it may be the last time? It is going to take a miracle for me to pass. I believe in miracles and I know this is a lot to ask but I would not mind another one in my life now.
I talked to my mother yesterday on the phone. It was a gooooooooood phone call. I love when she is making efforts, kind of funny how it makes mine easier.
I told her about the problem I have with her former friend (the one I talked about in my previous post). I told her how I feel about my bio dad. I knew what she was going to say. I have been her daughter the for the past 32 years and I have been hosted in her body for 9 months. I think I know her pretty well:)
And it was not so much what she said that made me feel good (because I disagree) but the fact that she listened to me without having to bring it to herself as she always do and the fact that for the first time since AT LEAST 20 years (probably more) she had a very soothing tone of voice. She made me think of my aunt Scarlett. It was good.
Talking about her former friend I guess her point is a solid one but I am still upset about it. I think the main reason why I feel this way is actually selfish. I don’t make a fuss usually about this kind of thing, we all see this kind of situation everyday; but since it is about something for which I still have question that are unanswered, since this is one of my last pain and one I can’t heal at the moment, I am angry at her.
I manage to bury it and to work despite of it. She brought it in the open and it makes me angry. Of course she could not know that asking for me to add her in my friends would be such a drama, but it would not have been if she had not done what she did using MY story and MY pain.
I have removed her invite to be friends and if we should meet in real life again I know I’ll be able to hold myself still…as long as it is not in the next 20 minutes because this migraine is showing up again 🙂
I just got in in my mail.
hope you enjoy this.