I typed this in the middle of the night. Although it does tell how I feel I get more from this last post myself than I think I shared with you. I could be wrong. Time will tell.
Anyway I still feel so angry that I am under the impression that it is what is killing my sleep these past week. Yet I often “hear” something like “it is ok little one”. It is hard for me to describe but I feel loved and encouraged as much as I feel angry.
See? This is exactly what I was longing to feel before I was excommunicated, this is how and why I hold on no matter how fair I think my anger is. This is exactly what I have not been taught to hear. If I had children I would make sure they would learn to hear it.
It feels like I am pulling or pushing something that I feel is beyond my strength but this encouragement I feel is like a testimony of trust that I can do it.
Back and then…
My journey back to the LDS church
Back and then... 
Wow. I could feel the difficulty you were having in the previous post, and I do know what you mean when you get those little reminders from above. I’m glad you shared this, even if it was hard to put your feelings into words.
Just remember to breathe. 🙂