Over

I feel really horrible.

My best friend is going to end a relationship of ten years. This is already hard but the horrible part is that I know it before HIM. He is not my best friend but I consider him a friend still. I wish I could tell him something but I have tried a year ago when life gave him a first warning and I found out (to my surprise) that he is as proud as she is AND the same way. We are all proud this is not a big news but we have our way to be and our “fields” of pride. Well I found out that they are exactly the same in this.

I feel like a filthy hypocrite  but what can I say or do?

I hate to be an adult and I hate to witness this. I guess to be outside is better than to be inside and I am so happy they don’t have a child.

I think I also feel bad because I like the new person my friend is in love with although it is really new and I feel like I am betraying HIM by liking her (yes her). I really don’t know how God is doing not to have His heart broken. I know He knows all but still. Can He really be that at peace when we hurt? I am sure that He is not and I would like to learn to have this peace.

The very sad part is that because my friend has so often be wrong in her behavior with him he will look like the poor victim of a gay witch. But I know how much she has tried to make things work. Much more than anyone would give her credit for. Actually when you see her you’d think she would not lift a finger to save her couple when he is the one who has screwed up her efforts. I don’t know if she is right to think that he seems to have pushed her in this direction but I understand why she feels this way. I personally think that they never looked like they were meant to be together and the fact that it last 10 years is just incredible to me.

The sad part is that she has learned from him and he has not from her. So basically those past ten years have been waisted that’s all.

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One thought on “Over

  1. That is really sad.

    Llife is SO complicated. I hope, in the end, they will be better for the time they were together – even it takes a while and is in hindsight. It’s hard to believe that now, and it might not be the case, but it’s worth hoping.

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