My mother had made efforts to be nice so I had made efforts to open up.
And yesterday she blamed me for something that is only in her head and hurt me with what I had opened up to her about.
Why do I always fall in this tick?
I am going to be 33 and I still believe her. There is really no preaching to do to others, no advise to give when I am still able to fall in this. She just plays with my need to have a mother because this is the way she can have an insane power over my life instead of having the power of love.
How much am I responsible for my feelings?
I think that I am not but am I right to think this way?
I feel angry. This is 100% directed at her but to be honest I am angry at myself for lowering my guard. Why do I have to have a guard against my mother?