I am going to be out of town for a week or so. I don’t think I am going to be able to blog during this time and it could be a good thing.
I am going to my mother’s because I need her to teach me something. In the mean time this will help me to try myself on the subject of my mother. One week during which I won’t be able to go to church, one week during which I will pretty much have to hide to pray or read my scriptures.
Not that my sisters can’t do this, but they are members so my mom finds nothing to say about it.
I wonder if I am ever going to be able to tell her about the fact that I am coming back. I don’t know how to bring the subject and I certainly don’t want to deal with her behavior.
I am tired of her reactions.
Today is my birthday and it is the second year she is making an effort to be nicer. My friends laughed because what I call nice is just plain normal for most people. I just don’t want to have to tell her that I have some stuff going on in my life, I don’t want to tell her that I am coming back to the church. So far when we talk about it I can say whatever I want because she considers it only difference of point of view, sometimes she even listens to me because she thinks I am a victim of this misguided church. But if I come back to the church, or I should say if she KNOWS then no conversation will be possible at all. Worse, I think that it is going to make our relationship a little more problematic.
Test, test, test.
This is nothing new for a lot of people, most of them survived it ;o) There is no reason I should not.
Anyway I am going to pray harder ;o)