We have internet in my sisters’ rooms!!! YES!!!
My mother does not know about it yet and let’s hope she’ll never find out. The problem is that the secret is going to be left to my youngest sister to keep and we all know she is the worst at keeping secrets. If you want a news to be out just tell her!
All right, I am more and more disturbed by this trip to NH. I feel it is right, I feel the purpose for it is right but I have been feeling weird. Like things are getting out of control and it is right but I feel uncomfortable in the mean time. Obviously the answer is to turn to our Heavenly Father but I feel like I am bothering Him and I don’t like it. Recently I have had the feeling of being a teenager again and I really don’t like it. You know all the uncertainty and crap linked to this wonderful time. I am so unsure of everything and I am so affraid of spoiling anything. I feel so inadequate and I feel I am like having an emotionnal panic attack.
I have not felt this way forever. I had forgotten how it felt (THANK GOD!!!).
This is absolute bullshit.
I had some serious reasons to feel this way when I was 15,16, whatever ends with “teen”, since I actually had no experience of life. I do now. So why am I freaking out this way?
Will someone answer?
Writting this helps me a little. I feel I am not doing something right and I don’t know what it is.
Anyway I had a great b-day. I got my two mission perfumes: Allure and Coco (both Chanel ones) and money to buy a crepiere. I had forgotten how much I loved to “wear” them. They make me feel so good, they make me love myself more in this way that I feel so much of a woman.