Anyway

I am happy to be back.

I feel like doing more for people around me but not in an excited way. I just want to do it.

I don’t even want to do it because it will make me feel good. I just want to do it. Funny how sometimes you pass a certain point where some things that sounded right and true just don’t seem to matter anymore.

Funny how this trip to NH made me love myself more. I have come to appreciate how I have become since I commited myself to come back to the church because it was my decision, my testimony, my relationship with God. I have learned to love myself as a daughter of a Heavenly Father how loves me probably more than I am able to love myself right now (although I have greatly improved as I have said). But I still needed to realize that I could love myself as a woman not just like “yeah, well…I am ok I guess”. I really enjoy my own company not because I have great conversations with myself (I don’t need that much help thank you very much). But because I have achieve something that some people never do: I am who I dreamed to be. Or maybe not exactly yet but I am very close. Now I need to be a little more like my little sister. Just a tiny bit. Not much.

Yes….she is 18 and she is my model in some fields.

I need a little improvment though. I need to be better for cleaning my place. Glad you don’t see my desk. If I need room I pretty much try to balance all the junk on my desk instead of just puting things away. Right now there is a bowl with jelly beans, a coke bottle, a dirty plate, a dirty glass, tones of papers, an empty can, my glasses, some pictures (some framed, some not framed). See my problem?

And let me tell you that I am being good in the rest of the appartment because I don’t want my little sister to live in a dump.


OH! Important news! You really need to come to my blog tomorrow to read what I will put there. I wrote a post a few days ago that is important to me. This was inpired by all the give away I have come across on others’ blogs.

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One thought on “Anyway

  1. I’m looking forward to see what you post tomorrow.
    I hope you’re feeling better than in your last post, sorry didn’t get a chance to comment. I do like those pictures though, especially the first one. It’s very spooky. It would be a perfect Halloween picture. Anyway, I hope you’re not still feeling gloomy. Your desk sounds like my entire house, so take heart, it could be worse!

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