This morning I made a special effort in reading my scriptures in the morning even if I did not have to go to work. Since I moved in this new appartment I have been reading my scriptures before going to bed which was not as effective for my spirituality.
I love the last two chapters of the book of Mormon just before Ether. It is so sad. the way he writes makes me feel like keeping a regular record of my days not just because it is a good thing but because it could be full of teaching for a younger one someday.
After reading my scriptures I don’t know why but I thought about my mother and her sisters and my grand mother and what a woman of this family means to me. I realized that one quality that I have comes from this family and being a woman in this family and I understand that it would not have been the same had I been born from someone else. I felt something like gratitude for these women who despite whatever can be reproched to them have gave me something that I intend to pass on if I can.
and for the first time in my life I have wanted to have a daughter because I think that I have something really good to give her that is just positive and not something good “out of” a negative experience.
I am gratefull for my aunts and my grand mother despite everything. I am specially gratefull for my mother’s youngest sister who is the one who passed it to me really. I love this woman. I know that she is far from being “appropriate” according to mormon standard and I should say that she is far from being “appropriate” even for french not mormon standards. This is telling you what she “looks like” but she is indeed the kind of woman I look up to. She may be schoking because of her lack of modesty and her taste for provocation in her look and manners but she is one of the wisest mother I have ever met and one of the most forgiving woman on earth. This is why I love her so much. when I was a child she spoiled me with affection (we are only 14 years appart) and now as an adult she is still here for me.
I have understood lately that I have tried to re-create the relationship I had with my aunt with my sister. The funny thing is that we are 14 years appart too.
I was waiting for the mailman today to bring my new debit card…and of couse he only left a paper for me to pick it up at the post office tomorrow. I am working tomorrow and I want it last week! FRUSTRATION.
I went to Leroy Merlin to bring back this awefull wall paper that I won’t be able to put on my wall. I brought another white one and got a few nice little stuff for the apprtement. I also bought soemthing to secure my luggage when I sleep in the airport. When I came home I was staaaaaaaarving. Maybe I should have had breakfast and lunch today?
I open the fridge wondering what I could feed myself on and there was pretty much nothing but a yoghurt. Not even my favorite kind( I like coconut or cherry yoghurt we have the best kind here). Now I have to cook if I really want us to eat tonight. Laaaaame.
The good news was when I checked my mails there were two mails I did not expect. One from Mikki who got my little package (yipeeee) and one from B with the informations I asked him. Good….he is only the kind that you need to harrass. Not the kind who don’t pay attention to important stuff.
I think I am going to make some pasta casserole. Do you want some?