Ditched on church?

I had a bad night and I have been in a state where I know I really won’t be able to handle relief society. I am trying really hard to calm down and find some good in it but the best I can do is try to have a better spirit about it. Since I came back to the church I wish I could tell my efforts have paid off. It seems to me that relief society is the basement of all misinterpretation and communication issues.

Ok I need to stop it. I just hate it and the best I can do is stop winning.

I am extremely disappointed because I meant to take a bus to go to sacrament meeting and the bus never came. So I just went back home and chilled out in front of my computer. Can I tell how much this is not sunday to me?

I have been reading the book of Job as part of my daily reading of the scripture. This is like getting hit in the face with a baseball bat. The story of this man is the absolute opposite to what I have been taught all my life in the church. This story is the absolute opposite to what I have heard all christians teaching about. So in case you wonder what I have been teaching wrong here is what I have been told/taught:

This guy is a good man, he is super faithful and stuff and is super wealthy. And then God and Satan decided to play what has always sounded to me like a twisted game to see if he remains as good. And then again no matter what his pains are and how much his friends try to change his faithful ways about God he still remains true to our Heavenly Father.
I really don’t know where this story was taken from but I am reaching chapter 30 and so far this story HAS NOT been taken from the book of Job.

I am just fascinated by what I read in this book because it feels to me I could have said each one of his words and I have heard each one of the words he is told by his good jew friends.

I also wonder about some of our leaders who quote Job in this manner I have mentioned just above, do they read the scriptures the same way they have read the book of Job? If so how scary. And if so how interesting also that God would have wanted me to go back to this church. This probably proves me right in what I feel about the gospel, the church, people winning about the church (or the relief society) either in or out. And if so this is also en evidence, a testimony, name it whatever you want, that we just don’t and can’t know what we call the truth. And I firmly believe there is much more to know than what we have already. So if we don’t know what we have I really can’t fathom what there is to know.

Maybe it is a good thing that I did not go to church this morning after all. This will enable me to read a little more from this book. I love this book. I think so far it is my favorite in all the scriptures we have.

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