I just (right now) ended a communication with her.
I am a little disappointed and slightly angry but mainly sad.
I love my RS president but she always seems so anxious that things would go well that she can be even aggressive. I don’t want to tell her that because she will not appreciate it and it would not be relevant anyway.
I talked to her yesterday on the phone and she really did not seem ok at all. I sent her an email to tell her that I wanted to support her and she called me tonight. She was a little aggressive at first but I know now it is only because of an excess of emotion not because she had an issue with me specifically. She started beating around the bush about concerns she has about the ward and specifically the sisters.
She and I always seem to oppose in every field and on any subject. We have in common that we can talk about it and laugh too but when it comes to the gospel it can be a touchy subject not to agree on. We usually overlook our disagreement because the gospel is not something we should fight over at all.
Yet it has eventually created some tensions when we talked.
The phone conversation was really good because she eventually broke up on how some things are going (WITHOUT MENTIONING ANY NAME OR GIVING ME ANY CLUE) that enabled me to understand why she seem to be over-reacting so often.
I am just….
I am so sad and angry and… and… and…
To me sustaining a leader in the church is mainly about loyalty. I only wanted to be loyal to her I did not think I would end up seeing things her way. I have my way to think I can help her but I most definitely agree with her concern. I think our disagreement were really a matter of misunderstanding.
Even if my way to look at life and path of life and progression is more “open” than hers there are still subject being “open” would just not make any sense. What I mean is very basic subject like is white actually white or should we discuss the whiteness of white? Is white really important?
I am talking like her right now WOW!
I am just like a CareBear thrown into real life.
Ok so I am just VERY confused right now and I am absolutely not writing the post I wanted to write and I think I need to go to bed and ponder about it.