I did not screw things up

One date did not go through and I was able to go to the other one.
I did a good job.
the guy was seduced.

The problem is that I was not.

I really thought I was more cerebral and I just found out that I am not as much as I thought.
This guy treated me with respect. We had a very highly intelectual conversation for…five hours about any subject: politic, society, books, sexuality, whatever. We are not on the same political side and we had such a great converstaion.

Totaly the kind of guy I was looking for. 200%!

And I just did not click.

The guy contacted me again to see if it is really “no” and I would love to say that I think there is a possibillity of a “yes” but it really does not feel right and I don’t feel like losing my time.

My like of reaction really puzzles me.

At least now I know that it is really NOT that simple. I also know that I can be “intelectually” seductive and that I am looking for more than I thought. I am pretty much looking for God but I have heard that He is already taken.

Now I have a personnal victory to mention.
I have managed to fast.
I am not talking about depriving my body of food. I tend to already do it too often. I am talking about a real fast with my mind focused on more spiritual matters and it was great!
Just great.
I am not going to put too much pressure on my shoulder and decide that I am going to succeed it each month now. But I am going to seriously work my way to another fast. I like how this time I reached my goal not by accident. I am the one who did it 🙂

1 thought on “I did not screw things up

  1. I hate it when that happens!! Totally cool guy, but no chemistry. Oh well, I’m sure the right one is out there for you, somewhere. Good luck in the search.
    Congrats on the Fast. That’s awesome. That’s something I need to work harder at. I don’t think I’ve yet had a truly successful fast. I’m pretty lazy.

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