One date did not go through and I was able to go to the other one.
I did a good job.
the guy was seduced.
The problem is that I was not.
I really thought I was more cerebral and I just found out that I am not as much as I thought.
This guy treated me with respect. We had a very highly intelectual conversation for…five hours about any subject: politic, society, books, sexuality, whatever. We are not on the same political side and we had such a great converstaion.
Totaly the kind of guy I was looking for. 200%!
And I just did not click.
The guy contacted me again to see if it is really “no” and I would love to say that I think there is a possibillity of a “yes” but it really does not feel right and I don’t feel like losing my time.
My like of reaction really puzzles me.
At least now I know that it is really NOT that simple. I also know that I can be “intelectually” seductive and that I am looking for more than I thought. I am pretty much looking for God but I have heard that He is already taken.
Now I have a personnal victory to mention.
I have managed to fast.
I am not talking about depriving my body of food. I tend to already do it too often. I am talking about a real fast with my mind focused on more spiritual matters and it was great!
I am not going to put too much pressure on my shoulder and decide that I am going to succeed it each month now. But I am going to seriously work my way to another fast. I like how this time I reached my goal not by accident. I am the one who did it 🙂