Sexy?

I have been told yesterday the nicest thing ever!
I have been told by a gentleman after talking for an hour and a half, that my intelligence is sexy.

This kind of thing is the kind of compliment I am after 🙂

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New gospel?

I have heard in sunday school that the reason why we suffer on Earth is because we have sinned before we came on Earth and that we suffer more or less according to how much we have sinned or not before we were born.

Do you think it is funny?

It is with this kind of teachings that I have been raised.

Fortunately the teacher pointed out that with such a reasoning Christ must have been the worst sinner ever.

Now the thing is that I know that the brother who said this must have thought “yes but Christ was an exception” and balh blah blah because this brother is always right, just ask his ex-wife:)

So let’s keep Christ aside and let’s use an other example.

What about the 18 months old baby who has suffered all his life and evetually dies? Was he a sinner too?
Oh wait, this brother would probably have a good explaination to prove that yes, this baby was a sinner.

It really sounds funny but the problem is that this man’s son is on a mission in California and firmly believes everything his faher has taught him. I think that if god himself would pop up and tell him that his father is wrong this kid would go into depression because to him God=dad=God. So whatever dad says is true.

I hope that he got some good companions and that he has not taught too much of his father’s gospel.

God’s pet

when I was in the MTc I wrote a sign door that said “God’s pets”. I meant to be funny but now I really believe it.

I feel that I am one of his favorite daughters and probably His favorite ones around here.

It is not because I am the most faithfull nd the ones who follows the commandments the best. I am not even always trying as hard as I should although I try to keep my efforts high. Just that soemtimes it is not as high as it should be. Anyway I am not writing to tell how bad I am because I am not better or worse than anyone else.

Then how can He love me more than He loves you?

Because I have a better idea than you do of how much He loves me.
Because I know how low He can bring Himself when He is still God and because He has beaten me up before to make me know who I am really and who I am is above anyone or anything anyone can be down here. He has put in so much efforts and love in making me. I know it.

Hopefully you feel irritated by the fact that I brag about this truth concerning God’s love.

The real difference between me and most of people is that I am aware of who I am which makes me more accountable for my actions and thoughts and behavior.

It is not so much the fact that He loves me more than He loves you that I tried to tell you.
It is the fact that I know from first hand experience who I am and I wish you’d know it too.

We are told everywhere that we are children of God but most of the time those words feel like a hope more than a truth. It is good and warm and comforting. Sometimes it makes us feel presured.

But if you knew trully what it means to be a Divine Princess you would feel the power you have been endowed with which can be way above your short comings if you will.

Oh don’t worry, I fall in the trap of indulging myself too about..er… everyday? But once in a while I like to exercice my power that has nothing to envy to the priesthood that men have been given.
And I whish you could feel it and know it too.

I know

I know I need to write more on this blog but I just don’t feel the urge to do it as I used to. Not that I don’t have stuff to write about. It is more like those ideas are so comfused and so not enough elaborated that when I put them on there it feels like they are stupid. Although I really don’t feel they are stupid when thinking about it.

Anyway Aïkido is great. I am still not good but I understand the concept of it better and better. Last time the teacher said the stupidest thing to my best friend’s boyfriend. Had she heard it she would have been so mad that she would have made sure he would never go back. Alright, you need to know that I use the term “boyfriend” because there is not real equivalent in English for what they are to each other. I guess to use the word “husband” would be more appropriate but I know she would hate that.
Anyway, the same way he told me a few weeks ago something that was extremly stupid and hurtful to the point that I just could not come for a week, he said something to her “husband/boyfriend” that made me angry for them. I know he kept it inside but really did not appreciate.
We were talking about my best friend before the class started when the tecaher asked when he would meet her. We laughed because she made it clear that she had no intention to come here. the teacher then decided that she was not fun and told her boyfriend to drop her.
I was shocked.
This guy is really a sweet guy but also one who needs to learn to think before opening his mouth.

I know he did not mean to be rude or to hurt at all but being in his sixties I thought that he could be smarter.

I guess part of the reason why I can’t write is also because I see so much pain around me that I would probably not have much positive things to write about. I ache for those around me who are suffering and although I am strong enough not to let it affect me too much I still have little positive things to talk about.

A little more

I don’t love vacations because I then don’t work but because it gives me the piece of mind I need to think and ponder upon spiritual matter.
I am grateffull for my relationship with my Heavenly Father but I wonder about my relationship with our Heavenly Mother. See how I can’t say “my”?
I have been thinking about our prayers and how we start them with “dear Heavenly father” or anything else of the kind refering to God. And I can imagine their email address being full of it and her sayong “never any mail for me!”
Of course you know I am kidding.
I have been wanting to know more about Her and since we don’t have any strong knowledge on the subject I figured out I got to do it on my own. Yet something has been disturbing me lately.
I spent New Year’s Eve with my RS president and a few other guests she had over. The conclusion to this was that my new year resolution is to spend the next one and the folllowings with my best friend and her guests no matter how drunk they may get.
I just had the feeling that not only did I not belong to their club (not wanted to) but also that their club was the “higher” one. In this club women talk about kids (and only kids) men ralk about their job and the common subject they may talk about is the building of their house.
Can you see me throwing up?
Hopefully you already know me well enough to understand and know why I have such a reaction.
Oh yeah, and the best part was that I almost did not talk because I had nothing to say on the subjects and nobody was really interested in what I had to say. Sorry, I like to talk about politics, geo-politics, arts, economy. Yeah I know, waaaaaaaaaay two complicated for some.
I am getting upset again and I could go on forever and again it would be hard to understand how it is relevant when talking about our HM.
Well I wonder if she was like my RS and her friends or of she was like me. Then I understand the purpose for polygamy. We don’t even know FOR SURE that it will apply up there. It is our “understanding” that tells us that it is the way it goes up there. I am not saying that it does not. I am just saying that unless we have been on the other side and back nd specifically investigate this field we can’t tell it is one way or another.
Anyway, if my HM is the way our RS is I wish HF has other wives so I can relate to them and feel closer to them.
I think the way I picture our HM is like Bree in Desperate House Wives. Of course a perfect Bree…which is even worse. For me the perfect wife is a Linette with a little Susan on the edge.
Anyway I am curious about her. Like a child curiosity not a spiritual one. So I think I should make this curiosity deeper because I believe I can grow from this understanding and maybe find some answers and some of the peace I am looking for.

A new year ahead

And it sounds challenging and exciting.
I had the opportunity over the past days to reflect on what sharing the gospel really means and wht the gospel is about.
We all know the gospel is to enable us “to go back to our Heavenly Father”. But we will all die someday so in one way or another we will all go back to him.
What does it mean to “go back to him”?

I believe the gospel is to help us to live better together now and to make us ready for a higher knowledge of things and purposes on the other side. Yeah but why living better together now? Isn’t what is awaiting for us more imortant than anything else?
No.
We are preparing right now what is ready for us on the other side so there is nothing more important than what is happening right now in our lives. What is on the other side is ont the other side and is for latter.
Now we have to learn and love those who are surrounding us no matter what (ooooh how much it hurts to write this). The best answer is “because we are asked it”. Yet if you just add two plus two the big picture starts showing a little. How can we live together up in Heaven if we can’t stand each other? Isn’t it what Hell is supposed to be about as Sartre said “Hell is other people”.
So yes, the gospel is about understanding that we won’t carry anything on the other side but the bounds of love we will have made and our personnal progression.
And talking about this I have realized how much I love this person that I consider my best friend. She has been going throught some rough times recently. Partly due to the choices she has made that I knew were wrong but not only. And I have realized that although she wants to have nothing to do with even the thought that God exists I can share the gospel with her. Not the religious theories but the fruits of it which implies to be here for her at any cost. Because she is my friend and because once this is over for us I know we won’t be together but she matters to me so much that I will do anything in my power for her to progress still, as much as we can there, because she is my best friend and I want the best for her.

Oh and I have been eventually released from the nursery after almost a year and a half.
Maybe I will get my endowments back this year (after two years instead of one).