Why does it always take me…

…so long to realize that “NO I AM NOT GOOD!” ?

I am not going to go to work today because I just came out of a full week of migraine and the peak of it being yesterday when the pain was accompanied to nausea and sensitivity to light and sounds.

I have felt like crap the whole week but did not realize it was like very light migraine until it was really bad.

What is also funny is that when the pain started calming down in the night I coudl tell my brain was like trying to suffocated the pain and I could tell that it was taking much, much physicall energy.

And it seems that it is always like this with me no matter what kind of pain it is. I have to learn to identify when I am not feeling good.
Is it unrealistic expectation that I have been taught to have about myself that disables me of identifying when I am in a position of weakness? Is it because my mother taught me to “tough it up” like she thought a man should even though I was supposed to become a woman?

Then when I come out of one of this crisis I need to be pampered.
This is a waste of time and energy.

I need to better identify my needs.

I think I am going to use today to catch up with my blog reading and to read better the bible because it is getting tough and I think I am going to need to read it morning adn evenings if I want to be able to undersand really what I am reading.

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