I know the choices I make always set me appart from the crowd no matter what direction I look at.
I don’t expect people to understand me or to make the same choices as mine and I take pride in chosing the less taken road.
I was hoping that my best friend would understand that you don’t always have to chose the easiest road to be happy. I was hopping she’d see what I see and understand my words.
I have never told her do this or do that I just worked hard to show her a different way and I think that I really made it clear. She understood and then fell into the easy path and I am feeling sad and lonely.
I love her and I can’t blame her.
It is just that I fear the worse for her not because she has not made the same choices as mine but because she has made choices according to the short sight she choses to have.
I am sad because I know that someday she’ll regret this choice and will go through hard times just because this is easier right now.
I know one could tell that it has been the same for me a few years ago and yes in one way.
The thing is that nobody back then talked to me and showed me a different way but the two usual option I had grown up with.
I love her and I’ll be here for her when it happens. But I hope it won’t happen sooner than I think because I need all this time to learn to stop me from telling her “I tried to tell you but you would not listen” which is the worst thing to tell someone ever.
I am just angry at her because I thought she would make a smarter choice and thus living up to the image I have of her.
And the truth is that she did not have to.
It is just that I am angry at her for making me feel alone again.
I did not want her to follow my path. I wanted her to find her way and not fall into the trap of the “two only options” and we could have shared more then.