Too late to change my mind

I have called my grand-mother to tell her that I was coming to Lebanon this October.
Too late to change my mind now it would kill her I think.
When I told her I was coming there was like a very short blank and I think it felt like a mountain had fallen on her head and then when she really understood what I told her the first thing she said was “is it really true?” I thought she was going to cry and I would have felt really embarrassed.

It hurts me to talk to my grandma for the many reasons that I have explained before.
I am so sorry for her.

When my mother pretended to be a christian when did she think the atonement meant?
I know my grand-mother understands it.

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