What I have

I keep on complaining on what I don’t have.
I am right to complain because I do my best to get what I deserve and I don’t get it.

But what I want to talk about is what I have, something that I never realized I had until a few weeks ago.

Life would be so much easier if I had more money, if I had my own place, if I had someone to spend my time with….but what I have is something that many people who have all this don’t have and would kill to have it.

I have freedom.

I am not talking about deciding what I am going to do tonight although this is a nice plus.

I am talking about feeling free to be who I want and what I want. I feel free from any social pressure. The only pressure I may feel sometimes, I should actually talk more about a drive than a pressure, is when I want to do something JUST because I know it is going to bother some people. The red flag thing I need to run into if you wave it at me.
And it is not even something that I do without thinking. So if it is really stupid or dangerous I am smart enough not to.
I think that my freedom lies in the fact that I chose my master whereas most people just adopt everybody’s master and are unhappy for it.

And it is the same with the gospel. I don’t think this or that because this is what our leaders say I should believe. I don’t feel I have to follow them. I follow them because I want to, not because I am afraid to be punished or judged by my peers. The only thing that makes me do things or not concerning the gospel is my relationship with God and I think this is the only way I can truly achieve what I came for.

This freedom is the only thing I really have and I think this is one of the most (if not the most) precious thing I have and I would not trade it for anything even getting married in the temple just because my freedom is the key to my progression and no temple marriage is worth my progression.

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5 thoughts on “What I have

  1. You are one smart cookie!!!
    You’re absolutely right in not doing x or y because everybody says, or thinks you should. Heavenly Father looks upon our hearts, and He knows exactly what our motivation is. THere’s no fooling Him. So, we all should be doing the things we are doing because we WANT to, not because we think we have to.

  2. I was more trying to be positive and look for something real and precious that I have than trying to be smart. LOL
    I must say that I feel a little low.

  3. I’m sorry you’re feeling down. It’s tough I know, to feel like you’re not where you might have wanted to be at this point in your life. I think we all go through this one way or another, I feel quite often like I’m not measuring up, to anybody’s standards including my own. It’s awesome that you can kind of try to look beyond the here and now and try to focus on what’s really important, which is what our Father thinks of us. If we all would try to do this, this world would be a much better place.
    Thanks for your comments about Ashley, yeah, I wish I could tell her to just walk over and pop those little brats in the mouth, but of course, that really wouldn’t solve anything. Maybe if I popped them in the mouth???? (just kidding, but I definitely thought about it a time or two!)

  4. I could kill them with just one sentence. I swear they would be destroyed. If you pay me the plane ticket I’ll do it for you. Because let’s face it, brats don’t pop out of the blue, they have to be raised this way or at least let free to be this way. I watched your video and Ashley is barely “chubby”. It is only some stuff remaining from childhood not like real over weight.

  5. Exactly! What we call babyfat, it’s not real fat. She’s going to be a total knockout, and those stupid little girls are just jealous of her. A friend at work told me to tell her not to worry about them talking about her, she should worry when they stop talking about her. LOL I think that’s something Madonna has said.
    If I could afford it, I’d buy you the plane ticket just to hear what you would say, and you’re right, they get it from their parents.

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