I keep on complaining on what I don’t have.
I am right to complain because I do my best to get what I deserve and I don’t get it.
But what I want to talk about is what I have, something that I never realized I had until a few weeks ago.
Life would be so much easier if I had more money, if I had my own place, if I had someone to spend my time with….but what I have is something that many people who have all this don’t have and would kill to have it.
I have freedom.
I am not talking about deciding what I am going to do tonight although this is a nice plus.
I am talking about feeling free to be who I want and what I want. I feel free from any social pressure. The only pressure I may feel sometimes, I should actually talk more about a drive than a pressure, is when I want to do something JUST because I know it is going to bother some people. The red flag thing I need to run into if you wave it at me.
And it is not even something that I do without thinking. So if it is really stupid or dangerous I am smart enough not to.
I think that my freedom lies in the fact that I chose my master whereas most people just adopt everybody’s master and are unhappy for it.
And it is the same with the gospel. I don’t think this or that because this is what our leaders say I should believe. I don’t feel I have to follow them. I follow them because I want to, not because I am afraid to be punished or judged by my peers. The only thing that makes me do things or not concerning the gospel is my relationship with God and I think this is the only way I can truly achieve what I came for.
This freedom is the only thing I really have and I think this is one of the most (if not the most) precious thing I have and I would not trade it for anything even getting married in the temple just because my freedom is the key to my progression and no temple marriage is worth my progression.