Humility is not mediocrity

I heard a very inspirational talk today.
This young man, father of 3.5 children was explaining to us how we don’t need a beautiful house but a crappy house is enough and how we don’t need a fancy car as long as you can drive it.

I am sorry but a crappy house is not enough for me and a fancy car is not something I really long for but I like how some recent cars are more secure than the older ones.

You’d think he was trying to say something right and that there is some truth in what he said. I agree 100% the problem is that I know what this talk leads too and this is the title of my post.

The best was when he talked about the good things we can do or learn to be ready and not having to rely on anyone or any social service…Men get all the intellectual stuff and woman all the stuff about cooking and cleaning. See? This is what I mean by I want to get married in the church but not to a righteous priesthood holder. The problem is that this talk is what I hear even from the smartest men in the church in France. I really don’t see why I should give up the little I have (and I have close to nothing) for someone like this.

I was talking with someone who calls me a friend when I failed the CAPES. One of the thing I said was that I want to earn my own money and not have to rely on being married to ensure a way to provide for myself. So many women have thought this in the past and have traded their freedom of thinking for security. And what he said was that if I should find a husband he’ll be happy to provide for me.
I know what he meant and this is sweet but this is not the problem. I just don’t want to depend on any man. Is it that hard to get? Men feel pride in providing for themselves why would we not want to feel this way too? they have a sense of accomplishment, why should ours be limited to diapers and cooking?
I enjoy cooking, it is one of my talent and I want it to remain this way. I refuse to have it turned into an expectation.
One thing about the boy friend I had when I got excommunicated.
All those years he congratulated me for my cooking and I never ever got a feeling that he was expecting it. When I hear “good standard members” bragging about the fact that they don’t have a single friend outside the church and that they don’t go to a restaurant because “mommy” cooks so well it makes me shiver.

I have been thinking about this A LOT and I am starting not just to feel comfortable or at peace with the idea of never getting married but I am starting to enjoy it.

2 thoughts on “Humility is not mediocrity

  1. Argh!! I just wrote a book for a comment and then it disappeared. Hate it when that happens. Oh well, here I go again.
    I totally understand where you’re coming from. I wouldn’t want that type of man either. There IS a lot to be said for a truly humble, honest righteous priesthood baring member. I don’t have the priesthood in my home, and I really wish I did. My hubby is TOTALLY awesome, but he doesn’t care about spiritual matters, and I really wish he did.
    There are a lot of members where I live who seem to be doing it right. I see mutual respect and admiration in their relationships, I know these women can totally survive on their own if they have to, they’ve gone to school, had fabulous jobs, and then decided that they WANT to be home with their children.
    I think that’s wonderful. I also believe it’s a couple’s choice how they’re going to live and raise their family, and whether they do it this traditional way, or if they do it differently, there should be no judgements made against them.
    SO, should you ever decide to get married, I hope you’re able to find the perfect guy and I hope he is an AWESOME type priesthood barer, not that chauvinistic one you seem to be familiar with. :o)

  2. Our new RS president is like that too. And the funny thing is that although we disagree on a lot of things we are very similar in our way to deal with people. Anyway I came across a forum a few months ago where she and her husband had several posts there and I found out something that I guessed and it was funny to read that I was right and how I was right. One woman was complaining about chauvinism in the church and our he had answered that he had tried to tell his wife to submit because he was the priesthood holder to which she had answered by laughing and telling him to mop the floor.

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