Here is a message left on my wall on facebook. And it did help a lot.
Wow Cojan I’m glad you feel that you can talk (write) to me like this, it feels like old times! Now we just need Melissa Luban to get in on it and the only difference will be that we’re not missionaries full time and it’s not face to face after a district meeting, baptismal interview, at the Battys or something.
But seriously, I’m so sorry that … Read Moreyou’re suffering so much with this. I’m glad for your adopted mother that you have her best interests at heart despite how much you will miss her. It’s so hard when you want something so badly and you also know it probably isn’t God’s will or that it won’t go the way you would hope.
Here’s a story involving me that about only 2 or 3 people living know or remember:
About 5 or 6 years ago I received one of the strongest impressions of my life to go from Utah to Oregon to give my wife’s dying Grandmother a blessing to recover completely from cancer. I knew that she had already recieved many blessings but still new that I had to go with an fire in my bones. So Carrie (my wife) her brother Jacob, ( a newly ordained Elder) and I drove out to Oregon and gave the blessing. The spirit was so strong in the blessing, it was amazing She was promised that she would live because she still had more work to do on this earth.
About a month later, she passed away. I was absolutely devastated, as was my wife who loved her grandmother very, very much and who had complete faith in her blessing that she would live and in me as her husband and Priesthood bearer. For a time this honestly shook my testimony somewhat. I just didn’t understand.
After many days of fasting and prayer in the temple, I came to understand that my wife’s Grandmother was offered a choice. She could choose to live, or she could stay with God. Her agency was honored, despite the fact that Heavenly father still had a work for her to do here. It was still confusing and I was still a bit shook up, but at the same time, I was more ok with things.
I’m not really sure what my point is here, but I hope that story somehow helped. If not, just write it off to stupid former-elders from your mission.