I had a book when I was younger in which I wrote down quotes that I liked. I had forgoten about it until I found it yesterday when trying to make some room for food storage. I read a quote that I just loved when younger. I still do, it cracks me up. I read it to my sister who just loved it:
“When Satan reminds you of your past, remind him of his futur.”
It is getting hard these days to do the little things I made a point to hold on. but so far there has not been a day when I have given up or skipped. I think it is a lot easier to give up when caught up in daily life and it is actually it is harder after to change and go back to what’s best. the thing is that if I were to give up prayer and reading my scriptures because my sister had a bad car accident for example it would be easy to forget and give up but then it would be “easy” to go back to it since the situation would have been exceptionnal. A drama is like a time out of your life. Going back to your daily habit can actually be a way to recover faster.
Then when you slacking on this tiny things that you should be doing it gets almost impossible to make room again for them.
So far I have been good at the “tiny” things but then I have realized something.
I am getting the kind of blessing I have always wanted but they are small blessings compared to what I think I deserve and could magnify. YET I realized that I am not taking care of these blessings as I should.
Why would God give me more when I am not even able to handle what I already have?
This struck me this week. So this is the first day of my change of attitude and behavior about it.
Do you want to know something “funny” about the quote?
When I was younger I loved it because it both made me laugh and comforted me. I felt in such a state of unworthyness for no reason that I felt I needed it.
Now that I have ben excommunicated and I have come back this quote still makes me laugh but it is not bringing me any comfort because I don’t need it anymore. I am happy with my choices. I am happy with all my choices even the bad ones only because I am happy to be where and who I am.
It could have been better, this is true, but I like my life anyway.
As I type this I am looking at my desk and I think I need to commit myself to clean it once a week. Seriously, I am sure I will find a person missing under this trash someday.