I had a peaceful pointless conversation with my mother today.
Yes, it was peaceful because she has decided it would be this time. Of course the conversation was pointless in this way that she has not understood a thing of what I told her but it is ok since at least it was peaceful.
This is not all.
She told me a thing or two about my grand-mother that made my heart ache for my grand(mother. Of course she is the source of my mother’s behavior but my mother chose her source. And I must say that after what she told me I have felt like huging my grand-mother. I am so sorry for the mistakes she made. She knows that she has been wrong and she is paying a heavy price for it because my mother won’t even allow her to redeem herself as a grand-mother to my sisters. This so unfair. God would give my grand-mother a second chance, who is my mother to not allow her mother to have this chance?
I am so sorry for my grand-mother. She is irritating, she is half crazy, she is deceiving etc…but she is still someone who deserve a second chance from her daughter because her daughter did not do better when she knew. My grand-mother did not have a bad example from who she could learn better. My mother had one and she just copied all but for the forgiveness part.
Nobody deserve this.
Which brought me to the attitude I want to have with my mother if I should have children.
I thought that I would make sure that they would get” plenty of my mother” just to do the opposite of her. I still want my children to know thire grand mother but now it is because I want to give her this chance that some people don’t have. She’ll never understand it and I wonder if I’ll ever get a chance to tell her. But I guess this is not important right now. The most important is my grand-mother who, even if she is not “that” old, is not growing younger and who is missing much on not knowing her grand-daughters.
I need to write to my aunt to ask her when my grand-mother will come on vacation in France.