I think I have found the ultimate answer to all questions. I don’t think I will ever find a better answer.
Even if I have found it as many have before me the good thing with this answer is that it is the hardest thing to reach in this life. Not that some people don’t manage to reach it in some ways, but I don’t know anyone of my time who has fully reached it although I have heard of many people who could teach me great lesson about this subject.
All the prop 8 crap and all that I have seen in NH and all I have seen all my life as come from one single need that was never met: forgiveness.
We often lure ourself in pretendiong that we have forgiven someone when we don’t seek to do any harm to a person who has offended us but this is not even close to forgivenes.
If I take the example of B’s mother I can’t tell I have forgiven her for the few days I have spent with her. What I can honestly say is that I don’t care. The good news is that I was able not to care as often and as long as I was not around her; So I can tell that I did not hold any bad feelings against her. But forgiveness? Nope.
Because forgiveness involves to love this person and to have an honest desire to see improvement in this person’s behavior. It means to be willing to sacrifice time and means to help this person in the field in which we have been hurt. Do I want to do that?
And due to means mainly I will never have a chance to do anything to change it so the question would be: if God would make me win the lottery, would I spend time and money trying to help her? Or would I use my time and money to better “causes” that will look more worthy of my time and energy?
I would probably chose the second option and thus I would miss a great chance to learn and grow and the consequences of my choice could be more important than a mere missed opportunity for me.
Forgiveness is the answer.