The answer

I think I have found the ultimate answer to all questions. I don’t think I will ever find a better answer.

Even if I have found it as many have before me the good thing with this answer is that it is the hardest thing to reach in this life. Not that some people don’t manage to reach it in some ways, but I don’t know anyone of my time who has fully reached it although I have heard of many people who could teach me great lesson about this subject.

All the prop 8 crap and all that I have seen in NH and all I have seen all my life as come from one single need that was never met: forgiveness.

We often lure ourself in pretendiong that we have forgiven someone when we don’t seek to do any harm to a person who has offended us but this is not even close to forgivenes.

If I take the example of B’s mother I can’t tell I have forgiven her for the few days I have spent with her. What I can honestly say is that I don’t care. The good news is that I was able not to care as often and as long as I was not around her; So I can tell that I did not hold any bad feelings against her. But forgiveness? Nope.

Why?

Because forgiveness involves to love this person and to have an honest desire to see improvement in this person’s behavior. It means to be willing to sacrifice time and means to help this person in the field in which we have been hurt. Do I want to do that?

Nope.

I don’t.

And due to means mainly I will never have a chance to do anything to change it so the question would be: if God would make me win the lottery, would I spend time and money trying to help her? Or would I use my time and money to better “causes” that will look more worthy of my time and energy?

I would probably chose the second option and thus I would miss a great chance to learn and grow and the consequences of my choice could be more important than a mere missed opportunity for me.

Forgiveness is the answer.

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2 thoughts on “The answer

  1. Well, I’m not sure I agree that you can’t just offer forgiveness, without having to get very involved in her life. But maybe I just haven’t given it enough thought.
    I mean, ther are strangers everwhere who do and say things sometimes that I would just as soon forgive quickly and be done with it, instead of letting it fester in my heart. It’s not like I’m ever going to run into them again in order to get involved in their lives. But I suppose that’s probably an entirely different level from what your talking about.

    This woman, obviously offended you, (would have offended me too it sounds like) but do you really need to be involved with her in order to just say “forget about it”? I understand she hasn’t even asked for forgiveness, from you, (she probably thinks she needs to forgive you of something-although your not the offendor in this instance). But I wonder if that’s really necessary in order to just offer forgiveness.
    Maybe I’m just offering it on a superficial level, I don’t know. I guess I’m just not sure I have to really love someone in order to forgive them. I’m going to have to ponder on this some more I think.

  2. maybe to get involved in her life is NOT the best way. You’re right. What I meant is the kind of heart that it would take to be ready to go to this point without necessary doing it. I mean it would probably require her wanting me to help her which i not very likely to happen even if I’d win the lotery and therefore would be free to go back there. This would be actually kind of weird. LOL

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