Since I unpacked BEFORE I could take a picture I decided to make you a list instead and I am sure you’ll find it interesting because I am sure you don’t expect these things to have been in my luggage, just ask me why I took this or that:
-a small crockpot
-14 $ worth of jello
– 4 baseball hats
-1 ball for baseball
-2 bags of jelly beans
-1 huge bag of jolly ranchers
-1 jar of crunchy peanut butter
-1 jar of fluff
-12 cans of Diet Dr Pepper
-1 NY sticker
-1 red sox sticker
-1 patriots magnet
-1 binder (ok you already know this one was for my sister)
-1 nintedo DS lite
-1 box of pumkin cookies
-3 box of girl scout cookies
-1 cinnamon swirl bread
-1 pair of convers all star
-1 little thingy that vribates to give yourself a nice massage.
I left with 20 kg of luggage, 12 kg being gifts and 8 being my personal stuff.
I came back with 35 kg of luggage…..
I will tell you more altter about this trip. Basically this guy is never to meet me again in this life. I had friends over this evening and I barely told them about my trip because just sketching it was enough for us to have a really good laugh. I had a great evening and I am glad that I am home. I mean if I am meant to spend my life in the US then I will do it. But if I can find someone here I thing I’d rather this option.
There is one good (excellent) thing about this, though. I am really glad to tell you that I have been true to myself. I have not played a role to try to fit in and I can tell you that (despite what you must think of how I say things wich may not match the truth) I am pretty much what you read of me.
Ok not exactly. In real life I usually switch to the “observation” mode which could make you think that I am not enjoying anyting and that I don’t want to participate in anything. Nothing could be further from the truth. I just like to understand and know very well my environment before I lossen up a little bit.
Something really good also came out of it. I realized that I am not affraid of being a step mother.
All my life I have been the “half” somehting. all my life I have been “this but not exactly” or not totally. beinf a step mother bothered me because it is a “step” thing. But I think that I am growing up and I am fine with this idea. I mean as ling as the situation is not too messed up. I would be fine with finding someone with kids already.
But honestly. I picture myself much better as the crazy aunt of my sisters’ futur children. This would really be fun.
There are so many things to learn and to enjoy. No offense to Ray but I really have the feeling that a man would just slow me down and this life is too short. I mean if I can find someone who would not slow me down HEY! I am all for it! Just give me the papers to sign up! But I like my freedom and what I learn everyday.
Yet I don’t know if this feeling comes from me, comes from some concerns I have not yet overcome, if it is right and okay to feel this way or what? So I will keep on looking for the right guy just because if I am wrong I don’t want to make another big mistake and really waist my time here on Earth in the illusion that I am right. Did one big mistake once, I’d like not to lose any more time ;o)
One thing though….the next guy will be an orphan. I swear he will be an orphan!!!!!
He can have as many children as he wants but NO LIVING MOTHER!
(to anyone thinking that there has been some kind of issue in NH about this let me tell you this: You are absolutely right!)