I don’t know about you but I think we are living in a wonderful time of human history.
We are going through a time that is without a very good a broad education there is almost no way to understand what is going on. the smartest of us understand that we are at a turn of human history that will be talked about in history clases. I already wonder how they will name our time.
I am excited to live now.
I don’t have a tone of money and I am nobody politically.
Growing up I understood how much the decision that had been taken by people like me had influenced my lifestyle often for the worse. I had often harbored hard feelings against them saying that the better solution (not always the best) was not that hard to figure out.
Now it is my turn to decide for me and maybe my children what our lives are going to be like.
I am glad for the gospel that I was raised in as a child. I am smart but being smart would not have meant much without the proper knowledge and the understanding that the spirit whispers. I am gratefull for the blessing I have to know for sure that my vote for our last presidential election made a change in our history.
I am also gratefull for a Heavenly Father who pulled me back in the fold befoe things got really nasty. I don’t know if I’ll ever know if it was for a specific purpose or just because He loves me and knows that I would have too much of an unnecessary hard time outside, either way does not matter as I write these lines, I am grateful.
I am also grateful for this unic opportunity I have to grow. I understand that this person I have a hard time with is a sould that means much to God. No matter how I feel about her she means as much as I do to His sight. I don’t know how long I still have bfore it is too late. Either of us could die tomorrow and therefore I would not be able to grow and progress anymore. Understanding this makes me feel like working harder on my feelings toward her. I have been feeling this way for years now. It is lost time. Well not totally because I did progress and try to understand myself on this subject during those years. But since I have not figured out what is so wrong I just need to quit trying to understand and just change my heart.
Sometimes understanding the complexity of our feelings is a good thing. No…actually it is always a good thing. But sometimes it is just impossible and saying that we want to understand becomes just an excuse not to do what we are supposed to. I understand that this has become my case and I am sorry for myself that I was blind all this time.
It is over now.
It does not mean that I love her yet (I still have a long way to go). It means that today was the last day I indulge myself. It is not realyl that hard. I just have to decide honestly that I want to change and why I want to change: because I was asked to.