I try to stay cool

I tried so hard to stay cool and to behave casual that I forgot that I am not taking a train on friday and leaving on saturday. I am taking a train on THURSDAY and taking the plane on FRIDAY. Gosh it is even closer. I have the feeling that I gained 24h! It is not true, it is only because I had forgotten but it still feels this way.

See? This is why I did not want to let myself think about it too much BEFORE. Now that I allow myself to be as I want this is the only thing on my mind. No wonder I had another eczema crisis! good thing it is not on a huge part of my body or in the middle of my face. It is just on my hand and more specifically on my pinky. So, not too obvious.

PLEASE give me something else nice to think about.


Nothing is better than this. And don’t missunderstand me. The only thing I am thinking about (yes Mikki this is true) is just the fact that I am going to take a plane. I am not even thinking about the reason why I am taking this plane. I just love taking planes.

Planes=a lot of kilometers=a very different place=new experiences=learning=having fun

See? Now the not cool thing would be to take a plane just to stay in France. This is NO FUN.

You know what? I think that if the plane is blown up in the air and I don’t have to suffer for a long time I think that I would love to die on a plane. Now there has to be some specifi requirement:

I can’t have a family that I need to take care of. I mean all the people who love me needs to be grown ups so that they can all take care of each other (of course I am assuming that they will love each other). I also can’t have anything important going on, I can’t have responsabilities. I need to be on this plane FOR FUN. and I would like to be on this plane on my way to the place where I think I am goign to have fun. Not on my way back.

I think this is the way for me to die happy.

Of course I am not going to be granted this.

Rather I will die after a long struggle against cancer (and one type of cancer that will be very humiliating) when I am really old and only one of my children or grand children will stop by once in a while to see if I am still alive.

I don’t care.

I will still have my cats!

2 thoughts on “I try to stay cool

  1. I’m thinking I don’t care how I go as long as it’s not drowning, or suffocating in any way at all. OK, that first parts not completely true. I’d like to just die in my sleep at a very old age, after living a long, healthy, happy , productive life. It’s not too much to ask is it?
    I think the thought of a train ride and then an airplane ride over the great waters sounds like tons of fun. I lived in Germany as a child, my father was in the army, so we got to fly home–I was about seven. I only remember that it was a really long flight, and the airplane smelled funny. I’m sure I’d enjoy it more now.
    So, how long are you staying for?

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