It is looking good

Here is the project:

The art teacher wants to make her class work on “writing” photography meaning “writing with light” we are going to work on experimentale photography. I will have two groups of students to work with for an hour each group. This required me to change a little my schedule so as to leave work an hour latter. There was no problem for me but I had to ask my boss if it was ok if I’d come and leave an hour latter, beside it is only starting in Januray and will last like three months I think.

I was able to talk to B yesterday. Yipee! He has been called as a single adult president. Not yipee. Hands off women! Let me buy his kids love before you try anything. More seriously, I will be in the US in less than  month now. He asked me if I was excited about my coming. I have never met him and it would be totally immature to be excited about this trip just because of him. I think he wanted me to say that I really wanted to see him but after the sweet experience that drove me (among other things) to be excommunicated I am a little (meaning a lot) more affraid to express such thing. I think I was too “intense” and I would be a little invasive with my way to express my feelings. I really think that I was too much. Now I wonder if I have backed up too far or if B is just more open about saying things that I am not comfortable with anymore.

I mean I used to be someone express her emotions without any fear, without any restriction. I loved to express my positive feelings and I loved to support the man I believed in. “G” just destroyed all of it. I may have been too much but now I realize that I don’t know what would be appropriate because I am affraid to spoil everything….

Typing this makes me realize that I am wrong.

WRONG!

He was the one who was totally messed up.

He was the one who could not handle someone believing in him, supporting him, being patient with him. He is the one who destroyed it because this was too good for him and having somehitng good means that you eventually have to deserve it.

My way to be was maybe a little too much but I was right in my attitude.

“Maybe” I need to change my behavior before I spoil something good.

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3 thoughts on “It is looking good

  1. This project sounds very interesting. I hope you might be able to post some of the results. So , is it going to happen, or is it still in the works?
    I can understand your caution with B, you certainly don’t want to go down the same path. But, I think it’s ok for you to be excited to meet him–this doesn’t mean your going to make the same mistakes you made before. I guess it’s more about how you express those emotions physically? Some caution would certainly still be wise, but not to the extreme–does that make sense?

    Oh, I would love to try some of the good chocolate you were talking about.

  2. LOL….Iam going to be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO carefull about this physical expression. I am NOT going this path again. Beside I also went this way because I wanted to. My will will be enough to control my hormones…believe me.

  3. It sounds like you learned from your mistake – in more ways than one. I really hope it works out this time or next or whenever it will be absolutely best for you.

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