I decided to go to my friends’ tonight even if I need to sleep.
I also need a little time out from the appartment.
My mother is coming this week end and I hope that it will be ok.
Not being able to fast and pay my tithing last week end I am fasting today and I will pay my tithing this sunday.
I know this is not important. I know it does not mean anything to God or even the church. But to pay it on the first sunday after I was re-baptized was important to me. I was looking for it and this is what she spoiled. This is really childish. I know it is and maybe it is the fact that it is so not important that makes it so sad to me. It has strictly no value, what really matters is obediance. but I really wanted to pay it last sunday, to be able to fast with everybody else last week end and not “sneak” my fast somewhere during the week.
I pray that my children will never feel about me how I feel about my mother. I think this is partly why I am not looking forward to have children this along with the fact that they are noisy and they stink and they always try to mend their mess with some ugly post modernist pictural art that you have to proudly expose for everyone to see.
It is dark and cold outside. Can you tell I need some sun to lighten up my mood?