Tomorrow

I am trying to get ready for tomorrow. 10.00 am it is. I am a bit nervous.
When I got excommunicated I totally expected to be rebuked and called to repentence or whatever. And no, nothing like that, on the contrary it was really all about love and about giving me a last chance. There is no reason why the interview tomorrow should not go great, I mean I am repenting, I am not going to go the same path again and when I say this I am not talking about the law of chastity, I am talking about anything that would drive me out of the church again.
But I am nervous.
I am packing to move for a bigger appartment so this is what is helping me not to think too much about tomorrow. I am also glad it is in the morning, this way it will be over before I have stressed out too much.

I don’t know what to expect. I don’t know what I am going to say, I have already said it all to the bishop. I know it is not going to be really painfull, I am not going to be judged and I know it is alright, it is just the normal thing, it is how it goes. But I can’t help it. I am nervous.

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5 thoughts on “Tomorrow

  1. We will be praying for you. What to expect: The Bishop should have three other priesthood holders there to assist, two will probably be his counselors and then a clerk to witness and record the proceedings for the record.

    He probably will not have told them all the details, just enough so that they get the general idea. This is supposed to be a reconvening of the same council that officiated in the first disciplinary action, but is not always possible.

    If this is a different bishop than the one that officiated in the first council then he may ask you to explain some of the issues for his counselors or he may do it for you with them present. The idea is to understand the prior situation.

    They will then probably then ask you some questions about your progress so they can get a general idea of your testimony and your spirituality. They may ask about your gospel study, scripture reading, prayers and attendance at church, if it is not already obvious and known.

    When I served in the Bishopric and High Council, I always tried to go to a disciplinary council in a spirit of fasting. The pace may be slow and deliberate. They may listen to your answer and then ponder a moment to listen to the spirit. A humble, submissive spirit is always best.

    Its not an inquisition. They simply have a responsibility to determine if you are ready for baptism and will appreciate the step you are making. You are committing again to live the lifestyle of a disciple of Christ and that is not always easy for one who has been excommunicated.

    The submissive spirit is to the Lord, but these brethren of the priesthood represent him. It is the spirit of the Lord that communicates your standing before the Lord to them. And yes, it is the job of the Bishop to judge. He will then dismiss you, they will discuss and pray about it.

    In almost every case where a disciplinary council has been reconvened to consider membership, the outcome has been favorable. I can’t imagine them holding this council unless they intended to recommend you for baptism again.

    Let this be an opportunity for the Spirit of the Lord to teach you and to feel of his love for you. In every council like this in which I have participated, the outpouring of the love of the Lord was obvious and felt by all involved. It has always been a time of happiness and rejoicing.

    Once the decision has been made and confirmed in prayer. they will invite you back in and inform you of the decision. This is the way it has been done in my experience here in California. The procedure are supposed to be standardized but It may be different there as directed by the spirit.

    May God bless you and give you peace.

  2. It will be fine, tho I understand your apprehensiveness.
    Heavenly Father has forgiven you. The blofd of Jesus covers you. The grace of Christ gives you complete assurance.

    When I had my interview, all that happened was the Bishop said ” Well, are you ready to be baptized?” I said I was…and that was that. I was rebaptized that night. It was glorious and happy. Not anything like I had stressed about.

    Remeber it is importan to love yourself as Christ does too.
    Blessed be, Sister. It will be fine.

  3. Thank you Tim, I expected what you said, it is just that I am nervous about the questions I will be asked. I have talked to the bishop many times and he knows how much I mean it, how much I have learned, how much I am commited to change.
    As I have stated many times it is not so much the fact that a commandment was not obeyed that had me excommunicated but the fact that I had many other issues and did not understand many other things.
    The bishop I have right now is the father of the bishop I was back then. He told me he is going to have his son in for this interview which I think is a good thing even if he does not hold any calling that enables him to be here.
    I know there is no reason why I would be denied to be baptized again and if there was I don’t care, I would just do what it takes to be worthy again.
    I think that I am back in my old habit of hating to express my feelings in public and one of the thing I dread is to cry again.
    I may be proud in saying this but I am fine if I don’t feel loved by our Heavenly Father or my leaders today.
    What I mean is that I know I am loved, I know how much effort the ward has put in to help me in my effort not to give up on the church, I am still surrounded by the emotions and the memory of what I have experienced these past months. I don’t need any more encouragement even if it would be nice to have more.
    Now I need to take a shower and to get ready because it takes at least 45 minutes to get to the church and I want to be dressed up in sabbath clothes (which means much preparation…I am a woman!)

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