Should I try for the last time?

I wonder if it is worth it to try to become a teacher for the last time before they change it all or if I should really give up. I don’t feel like going through all this again but in the mean time it would be stupid not to give it a shot since it is the last time.
Beside having spent all this time on this goal and not making it makes me feel like a big huge failure.
Yet, I really want to out those darn books away.

I am affraid praying won’t be of any use because I have the feeling that this is really my call. I don’t believe God has any real intend to see me as a teacher, in the mean time I don’t think He’d mind if I were. So the decision is really up to me.
I know I could be a good one, but I also know I don’t have the way to think that it takes to be a federal worker (in France teachers are federal workers).
I know I could try the “internal” test and I may make it but my question is: do I want to be a teacher? I mean, I want to teach but do I want to be a teacher in this country and in this context?
But passing the test could also open the doors for me to other opportunites that would take me away from here.

If I don’t take this test what will happen beside being sure that I won’t be a teacher?

I will have other fields to look into right away but I won’t be as focused on a goal.

What if I pass?

What if I don’t?
I will have lost another year.

Anyway, today I am going to see an old friend who has just been back from California where she taught french (among other things). I wish I could teach french in the US. But franckly I really don’t feel like spending another year to do my master degree.
Why don’t they just give it to me according to my smile? I know I have a beautiful one (it took me over 4 years of pure torture to acquire it so I know my smile is nothing under wonderful!).

Anyway, I have started reading my scriptures in the morning again, unlike the past two or three weeks when I have read them in the evening. Interesting experience.
Since I was not able to read it when I felt like at my mother’s, reading it just before going to bed did not make a change. But when I came back home and kept this habit I could feel a difference.
So I am back to reading it in the morning and I love it. Specially this morning.
We have had horrible hot and humid days, we just could not wait until the storm would break, this morning I got waken up by the sound of it and I sit outside, listening to the rain while reading my scriptures. Loved it. It was really sweet and refreshing both physically and spiritually.

4 thoughts on “Should I try for the last time?

  1. Is this something you might look back on and regret not trying one last time? Or would you just be relieved to put it all aside and not have to worry about it anymore?
    I hate decisions like that. when there’s no sure answer, just “do what you want to do”. Sometimes, I don’t know what I want to do, and just want someone to say “do this!”
    Anyway, good luck on your decision.
    I agree on scripture study in the mornings. I was doing it, and I would get so much more read in the mornings than at night. I need to get back into the habit. Something happened, and I haven’t been reading for almost 2 weeks now. Probably why I feel so crappy right now.

  2. I thought it would be a relief but then the fact that I found out that they are going to have it the old way one year more just changed all the way I feel about it.
    Si I don’t know if I would regret it or not, all that I know is that it is the last time and that I have a few weeks to think about it.

  3. Je ne croix pas qu’il est necessaire d’avoir un Masters Degree pour enseigner le francais aux Etats Unis a l’ecole secondaire. Voulez vous enseigner a l’universite seulement?

  4. Nope, The master degree would be in what we call “FLE” (on le prononce “fleuh”. C’est moche mais c’est drôle). It stands for “French as a foreign language” (Français langue étrangère). It was my minor when I was in university but I would need to master in this field since there are positions available for people with this very degree in the US. It would make it a lot easier for me to move to the US. Because I highly doubt being french would be enough to apply to such a position. You kind of have a lot of people who speak extremly good french in the US.
    I would rather teach high school than older students. Yes I know I am crazy!
    But it is the same here, I would rather teach junior high than high school. Because they just discover their first foreign language and the culture and it is the time or never to make them love it and really get into it.

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