I really wanted to do it this morning but I have not and this time it was on purpose.
The week has been so crazy and so hectic that I just don’t know what I am doing when I wake up and it is just not worth trying to focus on my scriptures. After typing this I will go reading them, though.
I don’t feel the urge to read them anymore and sometimes they don’t echo in me anymore like they have a few weeks ago. And I am not really sad about it. Not that I did not like it. But instead of needding to read them because I have been spiritually starving I need them now because the mere thought of enjoying something that God made available for me makes me feel good. It also feels good to know that I am doing something that my Heavenly Father wants me to do and it is an EASY thing. He did not mean the gospel to be hard. The most simple way to understand it is by taking the baby steps He has planned for us. Reading the scriptures daily is one baby step.
I love the feeling I get when I read my scriptures and there is nothing very exciting in it because it is only stupid descriptions or somethign like that, but then I feel that I am doing something right and it may be stupid description but I don’t know when something good will pop up.
I have found out an odd plesure out of excommunication.
Growing up in the church I had the illustrated BoM of course. So when I read my boring set of scriptures all the pictures were stuck in my mind, with the facial expressions of the characteres and how they made me feel, how I interpreted them when I was a child. Although I can remember them I have lost most of the interpretation and I have the feeling of rediscovering it. They feel new to me even if I have read them several times.
Funny how I used to read my scripture hoping to have a kind of epiphany that would make me feel I was walking hand in hand with God. Now that I don’t do it for this purpose I can actually feel it.