I guess it is working. Instead of feeling more and more angry at last sunday’s RS I feel I am more and more accepting of it. Not that I am not disapointed but there is nothing I can do, plus it fits some sisters needs (I need to understand what they are, though) and I don’t really need RS to fill my spirit. I used to but I don’t anymore.
I guess I need to make efforts to be there each sunday full point.
After all, I came to church while I was not a member anymore and even if I felt angry to a point I had never felt before. Coming to RS should not be that hard. I guess I am going to take baby steps. I am going to try to be on time. Like seriously try not just say “I am going to try”. If I make it then great. If I don’t well I will just try to do better the following sunday. When I make it every sunday unless sick I will take another step and so on until I like RS.
It is not that liking RS is mandatory in anway. It is just that people who like something tend to bring more to the subject. I feel I could bring much to RS in my ward but I lack the will to do it. I want to feel like doing it because despite what I think of our RS I can’t deny that they are sincere sisters and that they try hard to be not just good but also true followers of Christ. After all, they did not give up on me when I was excommunicated and they did not make a project of me either. I guess I can spare a little of my time and energy on them too.
Next week end is going to be “area conference”. We are going to have a broadcast in Clermont-Ferrand. I am a little upset because when I was a child this type of thing was a real celebration. We would come from all over the country and listen to GAs who were physically with us. It is not like it is going to change anything to the message. Beside it is making it a lot easier in many ways. Poor GAs, having to overcome jet lag so often and getting older in the mean time. I am cruel and selfish. But still…it was a party and it was great!
I am starting to worry about AFTER I have been rebaptized. I am supposed to meet some GA to get my endowments back a year after I will have been re-baptized. How is it supposed to happen if they barely don’t come in Europe anymore? It is not that I believe that planes are not flying anymore :o) It is just that I wonder why a GA should come save it be for conferences as it was in the past. We had a GA coming to our mission to talk to us when I was serving in the US but this is it: It was in the US!!