One day left

One day left and I can talk to my bishop to see what is going on. He was supposed to call me three weeks ago. I feel a little low today about this. I am certainly wrong but I feel like I am bothering everyone when, actually, I am not talking to anyone about it.

I wish I had someone to talk to. I mean I know I can pray. I like to pray and to tell Him about how I feel. I know He is there and I feel He is listening to me. But I need a physical person to be there. I feel alone and I wish someone would be by my side. It is not something I NEED. It is just something that would be nice and that would make the experience even nicer. Yeah, I know. I am such a baby. But still.

I don’t think I really need someone to keep me in line. I need someone with who I can share the joy I feel. Someone who will listen to me and be happy with me. Someone who will not say something as stupid as “I am sad that you have been excommunicated”.

There is nothing wrong in an excommunication. It is actually the most right thing. What makes it happy or sad is your heart and what you understand of it. The less you understand the saddest the experience will be. What is funny is that once I get passed the annoyance of such a stupid sentance as the one I have quoted I am actually sad for the ones who say or think this way. They have not understood the beauty that can come out of it, the teachings, the love, the joy. For these people “excommunication” is close to the meaning of “you messed up and there is no redemption for you”. But then why would our Heavenly father keep us alive? Who is the attonement for if not for us? I want to have someone I can talk to about the attonement. Someone who will understand what I am talking about and not just someone who will say “oh yes I know what you’re talking about because…” and then will start quoting the scriptures or some GAs. I mean I am grateful for the scriptures and for a living prophet and apostles, I think it is nice that people listen to them rather than anything else. But I wish I could talk to someone who knew rather than someone who has read.

Anyone out here???????????????

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