I was advised by one of the bishop councelor last sunday to call the stake president about my question. As you probably understood I have a big issue with this man. I know that if he says anything wrong, if he just breathes the wrong way I will get offended. So my first thought about this whole thing is that I definitely need to calm down.
Thinking about my stake president I must admit that not knowing anything I cannot tell that this is taking time because of him. It could as well really be because of SL. But let’s say that it is because of “him”.
Is it really a bad thing? I am finding out how I can improve my patience but I know it would not be that much of a stretch if I knew how long I need to wait. So when I think of the time it is taking sometimes I fall into my bad habits to complain on how things should be if they were all done according to what God has set. But I also realize that it is the time or never to set a new pattern behaviour of patience and humility. After all, I know better than anyone how much God can take different ways to teach us and try us. What is telling me that this is not happening on purpose of him to try me and teach me?
It is rather easy to tell how much this is only human mistakes but I have seen him working in ways that one would net expect. I am not saying that I will take any human mistake for God’s will. But I have no proof that it is not the case.
And if I had proof that it is not the case I am wondering when I will have another opportunity in such good spiritual situation to improve in the fields I have mentioned.
I need to pray more for patience. This is so hard. I want so bad to be re-baptized. Then I will have to wait a whole year to get my endowments back. I want it so bad that I try not to think about it because then I want to talk about it and I have nobody to talk abou it with.