Sweet Dady

On my mission I knew it was a time of “faith booster” and I wanted to use it to help me forgive my father. I worked hard for that. Then when I came back the more I tried to forgive him the more he’d hurt me or my sisters or my mother.

So I decided to set my forgiveness aside until better times when I could fully work on this subject.

They are many abuses I need to forgive him. One of them being a real sin. But the thing I need to forgive him right now without waiting for “better times” is how he treats my sisters who are his biological children.

My mother called me a few hours ago telling me not to scream when she would tell me what happened. Good thing that she did because I would have and I still want to. My youngest sister (going on 15) asked him for a favor and his reaction was to beat her and to tell her not to come back. Hope that this time she will understand that there is no point in trying to mend things because this is not a good behavior patern to catch on. She is not the one who should mend things up.

I am so angry that I just don’t know how to deal with it. I am angry at my sister, I am angry at the american student who talked about my sisters tendency to forgive my father anything as “the light of Christ” because this is no light of Christ. He never asked children to fix their parents.

I want to be able not to be angry anymore. This will go on as long as he stays alive and he is not old enough that I can hope to see the Earth cleaned of him anytime soon. So if I want this to stop I need to work on it myself. I wish someone had a piece of advice to spare. I am praying about it. It works. But not fast enough. I guess I need to learn to be patient with myself as well.

3 thoughts on “Sweet Dady

  1. You asked for a piece of advice. Here it is:

    Forgive your father. I know, it sounds unfair and illogical. It won’t change him. He will probably still be mean and treat women with disrespect. But you will feel better.

    Yes, this is very simple advice and I’m sure the problem is very complicated. But I promise you the solution is simple. It is also a commandment to be worthy to take the sacrament.

    You know the Lord said in 3 Nephi 9:20 – “And ye shall offer unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit. And whoso cometh unto me with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, him will I baptize with fire and with the Holy Ghost…”

    D&C 64:9 Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.

    10 I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men. 11 And ye ought to say in your hearts—let God judge between me and thee, and reward thee according to thy deeds.

    I’m sure you taught this as a missionary. It is easy to teach but sometimes hard to do. Try saying it out loud and see what happens. Say out loud, “I forgive my father for being a jerk and treating my sisters with disrespect.”

    Then go to the Lord in prayer. Tell him what you have done. Tell him that you have forgiven your father and ask the Lord to heal your soul of the hurt that he caused you. I promise you the results will be amazing.

  2. I can do it for the past leaders. There is a problem about my father or I should say that my faher has a problem. EVERYTIME I have honestly tried to forgive him, everytime he had done something wrong. I am not angry at him most of the time, I actually pity him. But it is hard to heal when the wound is re-opened everytime.

  3. Did you read the side bar on my blog? There are a few links about abuse. I believe that part of the life calling the Lord has given me is to bring abuse and it’s affects out into the Light.
    Healing takes a long time and there is a reason for it. Abuse causes Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome and it is not just about forgiving the abuser. We cannot forgive abuse in the same way we forgive other things. There is a whole pychological process that goes on. LDS women especially have a difficult time because we feel guilty because we can’t forgive them. Heavenly Father understands thisAbuse is on of the worst sins because it takes another persons free will away from them. Then we take upon us, the other persons sins unto ourselves because we feel guilty we are not being forgiving. This causes a whole gamut of other problems. Depression, Anxiety, distrust of The Priesthod and even Heavenly Father and Jesus.
    I didn’t realize you had been abused and still deal with it in your family. Bless you sweety. You don’t deserve this. I am sorry. It’s ok to be really angry with him. It’s part of the healing process. So is pity. Forgiveness will come someday. Ask Heavenly Father to remove the chains that bind you, even if you don’t understand that. He will.

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