I am sooooooooo in trouble

These girls invited me to a church dance that will take place next month.

First I did not want to go because: I hate to dance, I have strictly no sense of rythm, these events are always like a cattle market where men will look for a good haffer to bread them a cute little calf or two (we’re not in Utah so two could be enough).

But I feel like seeing other faces and these girls really want to see me there and for once I feel like pleasing them.

So I’ll go.

But the more I think about it the more I am planning ways to “throw a stone in the pound”. I have always loved to disturb people. I love to see a “how shocking!” look and I really don’t want to have idiots seeing fresh meet swarming around me. I am highly counting on the church high percentage of single women to distract hunters away from me.

I want to take my camera to try to make a good pic or two but I know it is not going to be discret and it is goign to draw people’s attention.

So I am preparing a line or two and fully enjoying the fact that I am not a member again yet. I can picture a conversation starting and at one point the membership subject will come up (it always does with idiots) and I wonder if I will have the opportunity to tell that I have been excommunicated and why. I really want to see the face they will make when I say the magic word: SEXXX! And then with a very lascivious voice tell them something like “I am a naughty, naughty giiiiiiiiiirl”

I remember when I was a child (and it was the same latter) when my mother was a single mom how things went between male and female when they were single. How they looked for the perfect girl with a clean past and pleeeeeease not too many brain cells (so that there is no competition).

I know all men in the church are not like this. But I know how they are in my country. I grew up with them, I grew up with the youngest ones and I know the “converts” because I saw them behaving when I was younger with my mom and none of them qualify in my view as an eternal companion.

YET!

If one can laugh at my jokes (specially the provacative ones) I will definitely reconsider his position.

I am not afraid of getting married in the church anymore. It does not mean I want to sell out myself for less than what I am worth and as far as I know the male members of the church in my country, none of them can afford me.

I think that what bothers me the most is that very few go there just to have good and clean fun. They all go to get married which brings a very disgusting atmosphere.

WHY AM I GOING?

I think it is really because I want to test myself. I don’t what kind of test but I feel like it is one for me. And also because the girls were so cute and I did not feel like disapointing them and I need to stop refusing hands that people reach out to me just for the sake of refusing. If this kind of thing is really not for me what will come out of it will be clear enough and people will stop waisting their time on me in this field.

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